I did not go to work again today. I told myself I will, but I ended up in my bed till 4 pm. I wish I can just make everything okay. I don't want to be a failure. I don't want him to think of me as a failure. I don't want anyone to think of me as a failure.

I keep getting this, few times a year. I cannot let it affect me like that, or I will have to find something that accomodates my 'swings'. I need to get out of this rat race.

I don't think I'm pressured by my work. I think I just don't wanna use my brains. I'm so scared now.