self reflecting moments

Everyone's self reflecting these days, seeing that it's the end of the year. Others are also coming up with a list of new year resolution that will probably be abandoned by week 2 anyways.

It's been a good year for me, on a scale of 1 - 10, I would rate it a 7.5. Why?

My relationship with family members sucked big time back then. I hated the fact that at this age they still wanted to control the things I do and so on. But now they have finally realised that hey it's my life. So if I do things that they don't normally approve of, now they will just 'close one eye' and by doing that, I don't shut them out either. I love you mom and dad. I love both of you. Thank you for finally accepting that I am different from the rest.

Love life. Good. I met someone really special early this year and I really appreciate him. It's not like before, in the past, when I just took relationships easily. For once, I need this person, and I want this person. I don't get bored after 3 months. I don't need my personal space after seeing each other for one week straight. My whole perception on relationship is different. I'm more serious now. And I'm really proud of that. Thank you for coming into my life and changing it. I love you. You are indeed my lucky star.

Workwise, I got out of a stressful ditch and found myself a less stressful job, but much much more fulfilling. There's food for my brain, and I need that. I'm about to be confirmed with an increment coming. I'm not sure whether the increment is huge or small cos it doesn't really matter to me. Of course if there is an increment my life would be more comfortable. But I seriously don't care much for money, as long as I can make enough to survive. Oh, having some extra now to pay off my credit card bills would be great too. In some ways, I've become less ambitious. I don't wanna climb any corporate ladder. I don't wanna conquer the world or win any award. My focus is different now. I want to be in a job where I can at least play a part in trying to make the world a better place. I know you're thinking I stole this off the script of Ms. Universe. It's the truth. I really want to make the world a better place.

Moneywise - I'm making enough to survive, but like I said. It sure would be nice if I could get some extra cash to pay off the credit card bills. I don't even remember spending so much money :)

ONE HUGE REALISATION that came to me was this. I'm a horrible judge of character. I always seem to trust people too easily, and then get hurt or get into shit when I finally get to know their true selves. I hope to improve on that. It's painful to think that the person might not be who I think they are the next time I see them.

That's about it. My priorities have changed too. But for the better. I'm very sure.

emotionally & financially stressing gf

Missed work today. Two more days before NYE celebration. Everyone's excited. I'll be at Westin with his friends. There's supposedly a theme to the celebration. Sports? So that the girls can come in their stupid little tennis skirt? I'll bring my fucking taekwando uniform, how?

I think I'm being too bitter about things. Feel old feel old feel old.

Like we had a discussion yesterday on what's fun and what's not. He said he feels old. That he's depressed because nothing seems as fun anymore. Not even clubbing. He seems to place a lot of importance in clubbing. Even thought that it'll be cool to be 35 and still clubbing.

I think it's just fucking pathetic. At 10 you play with your dolls. You don't continue playing with it at 20. So at 35 I'm sure there are other form of entertainment that would be equally as fun as clubbing at 25, isn't it??

Like catching up with friends. Wine appreciation. Music? Reading? Spending time with loved ones?

He said he feels that there's so little time for anything. For his million. I say DAMN RIGHT. We are not young. But since when is money so important? I'm not even putting the stress on him. It's self induced. And you can't blame me for it. So why are you putting the pressure on yourself?

I just read this post by some oysterman. He said, dump gfs who's causing you financial and emotional stress. From his pov, I must be precisely that sort of girlfriend. The one who's causing financial and emotional stress. Except that I'm not even doing that directly.